It is my birthday today.

I had one of those "Milestone Birthdays" today. I haven't really been effected by the past ones as much as I was this one. A few months ago I really thought I was turning 57.....That is still a long way from 60 ..right? Well, I recently realized that I had done the math wrong...I was really old. I couldn't fool my self with that "middle age malarkey". I was not going to live to be 120! I maybe have 15-20 years left. Dad was 75 when he died, and my mom 84. My mom died this morning, ending a 19 month battle with pancreatic cancer. It has been an interesting 19 months as I have helped care for her. I have an amazing sister, Janice, whose nursing skills are extraordinary. It was my turn with mom last week, and her care was getting where my feeble skills were no longer adequate. The Lord was watching out for me in the form of an angel, disguised as a friend of my moms. Who came and did those things I was not able to do. I went home exhausted, more than willing to turn mom over to my sister Janice.

We had an amazing day on Sunday. Holly and Sam realizing that mom would not be able to make it to Mia's blessing, decided to have it at her bedside, and thanks to a supportive bishop, we were able to do this ordinance, and have an extraordinary day with mom.

After experiencing such a hard week, I didn't want Janice to be alone, so I told her I would come in on Tuesday to lend some moral support, since on Monday the Hospice people would be there some of the time. Moms condition deteriorated quickly, and I decided to stay the night. After some bad hours, mom got some relief and looked at Janice and I, and said. "I am so tired, but I am Happy." We didn't understand anything else she told us. 12 hours later she joined my dad.
What a roller coaster of emotions have been these last 20 hours.

Love you Mom, grateful you are free from this cancer that has been your cross to bear these past months.